Raising Boys

It all started when I announced my second pregnancy. ‘ Do you know the gender’ .. ‘Will you find out?’

Since I was a little girl I have always imagined having a daughter. To think here I am with two boys is quite hilarious as I’m one of the girliest girls there is as you may notice from my Instagram.

 

Having a second I was torn between wanting a girl for myself or wanting a baby brother for Bertie . When George was born my first thought was delight that Bertie has a brother.. a little baby brother.. and boy did he love him the minute he set eyes on him. I spent the first sleepless night in hospital on the Boden website , delighted that the baby boy range is from age 0-4 and planning what matching items I would have my two little boys dressed in.

Day two was when I noticed it. The midwife ( who was so lovely might I add) was doing the rounds chatting to all the ladies and was speaking to the girl in the bay beside me .She had just had twin boys after previously having twin girls! ‘ Oh how perfect.. the perfect family .. two boys and two girls, you must be so thrilled’ .. She looked at me.. ‘is this your first?’ ‘No I replied .. I have a little boy Bertie who is two’. ‘Oh two boys ‘.. that was it!!! ‘TWO BOYS! no further conversation. This was just the start of it.

From family and friends asking if I will go again and ‘ try for a girl’ to complete strangers I couldn’t believe how peoples perceptions are of having two children of the same sex.

My lowest moment was when after two and a half weeks of confinement in the house I had the strength to push the double buggy round to my local M&S on my own .. ( I had a second section so its quite the battle pushing a pram for a while) . I was so pleased with myself pushing my lovey double pram round with my two boys side by side.. Bertie insisted on holding Georges hand the whole way.. True brother love. I stopped to photograph them holding hands and send it to my family proud as punch (See below)

At the till in M & S I was delighted the lady showed an interest in my new addition.. after all it was my first time out of the house on my own.. I was kind of hoping I’d get some coo’s from strangers at my beautiful new born. ‘ Oh two boys… Will you try again for a girl’ … my heart sank. Tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly left… I cried a lot that afternoon .. hormones were at an almighty high and I was inconsolable. If I’m honest my eyes are welling up writing this, remembering that feeling and her words.

I was devastated that this was someone’s first impression of my beautiful perfect baby boy.

Purpose of this post is to think before we speak… I have lost count of the many pass remarkable comments I have had regarding having two boys.. they become less hurtful now as I have become used to it. Other boy mums may know what I mean.. I wonder do girl Mums have the same?

Would I love a daughter.. of course I would… Would I swap either of my two boys.. never in a million years.

As it turns out all my favourite instagram mums are ‘raising boys’.. Cara Sutherland , Hunters & Heels and my favourite Sally from ‘ getting stuff done in heels ‘ even got a pink front door out of living in a house of boys.

I might have to stick with my pink smeg.. On a note about my favourite boy mums I would love you to go and read the blog of a mum who is very local to me in Northern Ireland. Sarah has two beautiful boys .. Alfieย  & Nate and I you can read their story at www.coffeecrayonsandcancer.comย  . A true definition of a super hero boy Mum.

 

19 Comments

  1. Suzanne Wille
    September 4, 2017 / 1:24 pm

    Happy Monday Laura-Ann!
    Sharing your personal insights and lovely family to the ig universe is so amazing. Thank you for your captures which are absolutely stunning.
    Looking forward to your pathways into the future.
    Wishing happiness and health,
    Suzanne

    • lauraann
      September 4, 2017 / 8:17 pm

      thank you so much Suzanne for your lovely comment and taking the time to do so xx

  2. Tracy Whitton
    September 4, 2017 / 5:40 pm

    Hi Laura-Anne

    As a fellow mum of boys I can relate to this blog post. I myself have four boys born; 1992, 1993, 1994 and 1997 all by c-section ! I got so fed up of people asking if I would keep going, but I realised that I was just not meant to have a daughter and I am ok with that. Ironically I too have a pink Smeg fridge freezer ๐Ÿ˜€

    I admit that once I’d had my first son, that I was hoping for a girl second time. In my family apart from an aunt everyone has had boy-girl-boy etc… this changed however when my third son was born ten weeks early and fought for his life for a further eight weeks. I was just happy to have my babies ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป number four came along and I was just as happy.

    With so many people never having the opportunity to become parents, let alone worrying about boys or girls, I think people should be careful of comments they make.

    Stay happy ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • lauraann
      September 4, 2017 / 8:42 pm

      thank you so much for taking the time to comment!! I really appreciate it! I hope it makes a few people think twice before making comments on gender. How anyone can look at a perfect newborn baby and their first thoughts be about gender just baffles me!! xx

  3. Helen
    September 4, 2017 / 6:58 pm

    Hi there, I’m a mum of two girls17& 20 and I hate to say it but I still get asked ” do you wish you’d had a boy?”. I occasionally do if I was honest but more for my husband than me. Having said that he’s a real hands on dad and they are both ‘daddy’s girls’ so I can’t imagine our life any other way. Sometimes I do feel sorry for him when he has 3 hormonal women to deal with.!๐Ÿ˜ฌThe trouble is people don’t think when they say it ( I’m sure I’ve probably said it myself in the past!) I also have a friend who was quite depressed when she had her second girl which made me really sad as I think we are so lucky to have a child of any sex. My sister in law had one of each and like you is the girliest girl I know. Well her daughter was( and still is!) a tomboy who refused to wear dresses or anything pink. So even when people do get one of each it doesn’t always work out as we imagine! Xx

  4. lauraann
    September 4, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    Hi Helen, thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Its crazy that anyone can look at a little newborn and gender be the first thing they can comment on.. it totally baffles me!! and I had a little laugh at the Tomboy … so funny and that would totally happen to me I bet!!! xxx

  5. Jo Philippart
    September 5, 2017 / 8:47 am

    I had 2 boys in 2 and a bit years – and had exactly the same comments . I’m only one of 2 so never thought of having a big family, hubby is one of 7 but didn’t want a big family. We did try for a third baby ( not specifically hoping for a girl ) for 18 months but it just wasn’t to be. I now have 2 boys both in their teens and I wouldn’t swap them for the world .

    • lauraann
      September 5, 2017 / 9:47 am

      Thanks for the comment jo !! I’m not sure we will have another ever ! And if it was to happen i would be terrified of being made to feel this way again was I to have a third boy .. it’s been a really horrible experience and astonishingly seems to happen to many many people!!! I can’t imagine ever telling someone they should be disappointed in their own child due to the gender . Heartless xxxx

  6. September 5, 2017 / 9:44 am

    Hi Laura-Anne
    I’m a mum of two beautiful daughters Kate21 and Sarah 18 and I’m so very grateful to God for my wonderful children but I too know what jerks people can be when they don’t think before they speak. My grandmother (RIP Nana) was the first one. She came to the hospital they day after Sarah was born, her third great granddaughter, and looked at me with pity. The very first thing she said to me was, “Well I guess you’ll be going back for a third so you can try and have a son.”
    I was so angry and told her that our beautiful family was complete and that my husband was happy with his two girls. She and others have commented that it was essential to have at least one boy in a family to carry on the name. Well guess what people it’s 2017 and girls can keep their maiden names to “carry on the family name.” People need to learn to be thankful a child was born and welcome the blessing of a baby.

    • lauraann
      September 5, 2017 / 9:45 am

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment ! It’s amazing how common this seems and we are made to feel we should be disappointed in our children.. it really breaks my heart !!! How Anyone can say that to a new mother is astonishing !!! Thank you again xxx

  7. September 5, 2017 / 9:46 am

    Hi Laura-Anne
    I’m a mum of two beautiful daughters Kate 21 and Sarah 18 from Australia. I’m so very grateful for my wonderful children but I too know what jerks people can be when they don’t think before they speak. My grandmother (RIP Nana) was the first one. She came to the hospital they day after Sarah was born, her third great granddaughter, and looked at me with pity. The very first thing she said to me was, “Well I guess you’ll be going back for a third so you can try and have a son.”
    I was so angry and told her that our beautiful family was complete and that my husband was happy with his two girls. She and others have commented that it was essential to have at least one boy in a family to carry on the name. Well guess what people it’s 2017 and girls can keep their maiden names to “carry on the family name.” People need to learn to be thankful a child was born and welcome the blessing of a baby.

    • Lauraann
      September 6, 2017 / 1:14 pm

      Absolutely !! Thank you for taking the time to comment ! It’s amazing how this seems to be a very common thing that people believe you should be so disappointed !! It brings a tear to my eye !! Xx

  8. September 5, 2017 / 9:46 am

    Hi Laura-Anne
    I’m a mum of two beautiful daughters Kate 21 and Sarah 18 from Australia. I’m so very grateful for my wonderful children but I too know what jerks people can be when they don’t think before they speak. My grandmother (RIP Nana) was the first one. She came to the hospital they day after Sarah was born, her third great granddaughter, and looked at me with pity. The very first thing she said to me was, “Well I guess you’ll be going back for a third so you can try and have a son.”
    I was so angry and told her that our beautiful family was complete and that my husband was happy with his two girls. She and others have commented that it was essential to have at least one boy in a family to carry on the name. Well guess what people it’s 2017 and girls can keep their maiden names to “carry on the family name.” People need to learn to be thankful a child was born and welcome the blessing of a baby.

  9. Danielle Hirst
    September 5, 2017 / 9:56 am

    Hi Lauraann,
    Thank you for your wonderful post which mirrors my experiences, I have two beautiful little boys and have been baffled and bewildered by the odd insensitive comments and in some cases a sympathetic look!!? As if my little men weren’t enough, and maybe I was missing out on something, Yes of course having a girl would be wonderful but not as a replacement only as an addition…If only they knew how our days are filled with adventure laughter and love โค๏ธ Ps I love your instagram account! It’s just lovely ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • lauraann
      September 5, 2017 / 10:01 am

      Thanks so much Danielle for taking the time to comment !! It’s truely awful that people think we are unlucky in a way… it seems that girl mums get the same too!! How anyone can look at a newborn baby.. boy or girl and their first thought is that the family should be disappointed is beyond me !!! Xx

  10. Maria
    September 8, 2017 / 9:12 pm

    I first got two boys at the same time my friend got one boy and one girl. Then our friends sad to her if she’s done now, but to me they all asked if we would tur again . I did not like that. I Love my two boys , they are grown up now but they have a little sister! But she is 21 today and they are 24 and 26. My husband and I Love them to
    Pieces!!

    • lauraann
      September 8, 2017 / 9:14 pm

      Awww happy birthday to her ! Thanks for taking the time to comment .. it’s a funny thing that people think it’s ok to say these things !!! Xx

  11. Stacey
    September 8, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    ๐Ÿ’™ this post, so very true which is so sad. After wishing more than anything for a girl, I had a boy, he is my ๐ŸŒŽ And I wouldn’t change him in a million years, while I only have one baby at the moment, I can totally understand what you are saying and often wonder the same, do mothers of girls get the same reaction? Babies are so precious regardless of their gender. If only people could be a little bit kinder before they make any comments.

    • lauraann
      September 19, 2017 / 3:08 pm

      Thanks for the message Stacey…little boys were meant for us.. and how brilliant they are. Xx

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