Being a ‘people pleaser’ is one thing, but spending your life either consciously or sub-consciously holding youself back because you worry what other people think is a whole other matter.
As with most of us, my harshest critic is myself. But not long ago, I gave more worries about what others thought of me than what I thought of myself.
Yes I have created a space that is built around likes and numbers that dictate the value of my content. But i’m not just talking about those types of likes and approvals. Im also talking about those a little closer to home.
Friends, family, co-workers and peers… These are the ones that can be the harshest, hurtful and worst of all.. The reason most people hold back on fulfilling what they really want to do.
Whether that’s setting up a new business, blog, You Tube, making a go of your IG, or starting IG Stories; so many people hold back for fear of judgement from those closest to them . I had nerves back in the day changing my name from lauraannbarr to @all.thats.pretty… What would those 89 followers/friends think /say ?!? What is she doing? Who does she think she is?
Setting up my blog was just as nerve wracking.. It took months before I finally hit publish for fear of what others thought and would say.. I only wish I done it sooner now.
I have lost count of the times people message me or mention to me they would love to start blogging or ‘making a go’ of their instagram page. When I tell them they most definitely should, they all reply the same.. ‘Oh no, I couldn’t ‘ ‘ Oh people would laugh at me’ ‘I’m not confident enough’ etc.. They are worried about what their friends , family and peers would think of them.
Surely if these people were true friends, they would be supportive, encouraging and pleased for you? If they are true friends that care, surely they would be horrified that they were holding you back on something just because you fear their judgement?
I have gradually stopped worrying what people think of me and am trying to be more concerned with what I think of myself. If I’m proud of what I’ve created – especially something I have styled or photographed – then that enough for me.
I bought this bike 10 years ago as I just loved it the moment I set eyes on it. ( long before the days of instagram). I have always wanted to create this style of photo ; Me , riding the bike, with flowers in the basket.. Preferably in some sort of bright floral dress.. having a laugh! I think it sums me up perfectly.
I swear, since I owned that bike, that’s what I thought every time I looked at it.
God forbid I ask someone to take the photo for fear they thought I loved myself I was self centred, it was silly, stupid, self-absorbed and cringe-worthy!
However here I am… In Belfast City centre, pushing my pink bike with a basked filled with flowers in a pink dress and my head held high. People were staring, horns were beeping and questions were asked… However I wasn’t embarrassed. This was me. I was having fun creating something i’ve always wanted to do.
We’ve all been there. Whether it’s from someone who doesn’t get us, someone who underestimates us or just someone who diminishes our accomplishments. Worrying about what other people think is sole destroying and it can take the best of us.
What somebody says about you speaks more of their character, than it does of yours.
Value yourself, and value those in turn who see the good in you. You don’t need to please everybody, just be passionate and proud of whoever it is you happen to be or want to be.
Set up that blog, go for that job, create that content .. You will never please everyone and those thoughts in your head are probably much worse than reality.. True friends will be 100% supportive and excited for your new venture.
Im still learning myself, but i’m making progress.